One bad thing about diving into
juvenile fiction is that you sometimes fail to differentiate reality from the
pigments of your imagination. Hence, when I went for my break, I dreamt of you
handsome. At least that’s what I believed had happened. But looking back, I
think I just drifted away momentarily while I listen to Katharine Macphee on
replay. Now, drifting away is not really a deeps sleep but simply resting your
eyes and relaxing your mind and letting your ears take over. As a result of
this, my heightened sense of hearing woke me up hastily after hearing the call
bell so I did get up and returned from my break ten minutes early. I decided to
make myself a cup of tea, something Kiwi that has rubbed on me. After a while I
managed to get my tea right-not too strong with little milk and two sugars
please. I like my tea sweet.
One thing I learned about myself
in the past few days is that I loathe competition. That f you compare me to
somebody, say for example at work, I slack off and don’t give my best. I think
I mentioned it before, probably a year or two, that I do not bear any interest
on competition as it bores me. But also because everyone is made differently,
does the term ‘individuality’ ring a bell? because I believe in it as much as I
believe fairness and equality. So, if you want to see me fly high, let me do my
own thing.
Another point I just picked up
just about an hour ago is that my parallel universe is a complex thing. As Dr.
Bailey would have described a great white tumor, so is my universe--dangerous,
scary, smart and beautiful. How do you call that creature that is hard on the
outside but hollow on the inside? Which reminds me of a scene in Bob Ong’s
“Alamat ng Gubat” wherein a lobster is sun bathing on the shore. When Tong
asked him what is he doing, he answered, “I am doing nothing”. Tong replied,
“then you are not doing anything” to which the wise lobster replied, “not doing
anything is different from doing nothing, for when I do nothing I am actually
doing something but when you are not doing anything you do not have anything’.
Dazed and confused Tong yielded and left while reiterating in his mind the
lobster’s argument. However, the lobster eventually died from doing nothing.
For although he is wise, he is still not smart enough to forget one important
thing, that living under the sun 24/7 and not moving can roast a lobster. Tong
found the horrifying sight of his shell lying on the shore being washed away by
the waves.
In relation with this, my
parallel universe is protected by a shell where it hosts and protects many
chambers where I keep my thoughts. One chamber spilled the beans and told an
intruder that I get intimidated easily, that if you want me to back off like a
rattled dog all you have to do is just give me the look of scrutiny. Inspect me
as if I am a package going to the customs, look at me from head to foot and
then you will see me ten steps away from you. However, the neighbouring chamber
door is equally talkative as the I-get-intimidated-easily door. She said,
“Though she gets intimated easily, she too can give that ‘look’ without her
knowing. As sweet as her smile can be her ‘look’ can be nasty and mean which is
totally opposite of what you know of her. Watch her roll her eyeballs and
you’ll see what I mean”.
Apart from this door, there are
also some intriguing ones like the insecurity door, the fat boy image door, the
I-am-better-than-you door, the i-don’t-like-taking-a-bath-on-weekends door, the
secret of others-girls door, the secret of others-boys door, the secret of Ally
Alembong door and the i-don’t-really-like-small-talks-when-i-don’t-know-you
door. The most used chamber doors can be easily identified as they are kept
clean and tidy or messy depending on demands. Among these are the
i-love-reading-even-those-vandalism-on-the-wall door, the music door, the
i-love-movies-minus-the-popcorn door, the i-always-zone-out-when-I’m-alone door
and the loose your sense of direction door. And before I forget the new
favourite door, the right and left confusing door. But among the others and
probably all of the doors, the one that remains a mystery to everyone is
the-door-of-things-that-I-forgot-but-cannot-remember. She cannot access this
door because the server doesn’t want to log her in for it is the best for her.
But sometimes the server gives her some blurred images from the inside to
create more confusion for her. And all of these chambers are write-protected by
the shell. Few were given a chance to enter and explore but none has passed
through all doors successfully for the parallel universe of mine is like the
Labyrinth, it change every time. It shows areas that I know are safe. So if you
want to know more, ask. For if you ask I get to sort it out or better yet let
me ask for you will know which door is at work if you read my questions and
listen carefully.
So this is how juvenile books
cloud your reality and pillars of imagination. It fills your heart with happy
thoughts, fills your pocket with all sorts of magic dusts, gives you crimson
dreams, summons your inner peter pan, blows your happy bubble, gives you a
leprechaun to tease and gives your vocabulary a perky make over. So go on
indulge and along the way who knows you’ll meet the carpenters or find the long
lost Atlantis or be transported to Emerald City or if you’re lucky enough get a
golden ticket not to Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory but inside my perilous
mind.
29.12.12
4.54 am
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