my birthday wish list :)

tee-hee! april is now here! well, actually I'm a bit late because it's gonna end soon :) but anyways, its my birth month! :D

so for my birthday here's my new wish list :

1.a SLR cam (sige naman na haha)

2. a laptop

3. a blackberry

4. paints and brushes

5. elmer's glue

6. portable dvd player

7. double-sided tape

wow that's a lot :) but this is just a 'wishlist' but seriously i'd appreciate a double-sided tape cause I ran out of stock for my scrapbook..happy earth day!

post graduation thoughts

Today my new day starts. An opening door to what had closed. It may sound cliche (I think that's why they are called cliche because they actually work) but now is the time to reap the fruits of my labor for the past three years of my life. My post graduate degree is finally finished. There have been many instances in which I had to give up something to keep with the demands of my studies. I gave up love, friends, time and energy. But I never quit because I believe someday God will reward me for my sacrifices.

It is true indeed that graduation is not the end but rather a start. I personally consider it as the beginning of an adventure to professionalism and personal growth. Bright ideas flow vigorously through a graduate's vein. However the whole new world that awaits them is not what they expect it to be. It is harsh and chaotic, and if one is not tough enough he may get himself lost. The cruel reality kills idealism which I consider as the main culprit for the death of vibrant and optimist people. But as I o on my journey I learned that if you want to survive fight for your right. Stand up for yourself. Immerse yourself to people and learn how to choose those that will help you reach your goal. Environment plays an important key role for our success.

People will love you in an instant and will hate you the next day. It all depends on how you please them, on how how you act in accordance to what they believe is right and proper. If you allow them to box you up to their standard, soon you'll realize that that has been the day you're idealism has died. The moment you follow what others had told you to do, you become a part of the world that you have longed to change. What Mahatma Gandhi said about change is this: be the change that you want. If you have a dream put that dream to work.

Haters, no matter where you go, will follow you. That's the truth, so what do you do to them?Hate them to?Curse them? God said, love your haters. For haters are just confused admirers (@Revrunwisdom). They may judge you but let them be. The legendary Eraserheads band said 'do your own thing and stick with what you want'.

Yesterday was my commencement exercise and honestly I know that once I go back to work things will change but I don't care. Criticisms are good at some point because they make you realize that you are fortunate not to have the green-eyed monster hovering beside you and that you are not nurturing a little devil inside you.

As I graduate again this is what I have learned--be grateful for your achievements but always learn how to humble yourself and thank the One who have given you blessings. Feel the moment and then let go. Once you knew how it feels to be at the top start detaching yourself from that emotion and put your feet back on the ground. The crowns are not ours to keep but to throw off at the feet of Our creator. Use wisely whatever talent God has given us for there's no greater sin than ignoring God's gift.

My new day starts with a job interview, not typical for a person who just graduated but a good starting point. If this goes right then I believe I am finally reaping the fruits of my labor =) Hardships make us good persons. Do your own thing and stick with what you want. You don't have to be great to start but you have to start to be great. Fight the chaos. Dare to be different. Never be afraid of mistakes, keep a prayer in your pocket to guide you and always move forward towards the path of God!

Be useful. Be productive. Be happy~ Mr. Joseph Gallego

Likewise, urge the younger men to be self-controlled. Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity, and sound speech that cannot be condemned, so that an opponent may be put to shame, having nothing evil to say about us.

~Titus 2:6-8

And if you faithfully obey the voice of the Lord your God, being careful to do all his commandments that I command you today, the Lord your God will set you high above all the nations of the earth. And all these blessings shall come upon you and overtake you, if you obey the voice of the Lord your God.

~

Deuteronomy 28:1-2

apr 8, 2010 7.30am

Omanfil, Parañaque

because I ran out of double-sided tape =)

I would have gone to your side if I could but for some reasons I couldn’t. Why does one have to go to you? You’re luring me to follow your trail but I tell myself that it is not the way. I fought my urge to walk and will sprain myself if I have to. Stop. Can’t you read between the lines? I am not the same girl that you have left and traded for someone who could not even stand up for herself. I have grown. I have move on. Yes it’s true that I have forgiven you. But my heart have found 101 reasons not to love you anymore. I am still your friend but I am really sorry I cannot follow you down. Obedience is not for me. So please just go on without me. Our stop have passed and it is time for you to accept that we never were and we’ll never be. Pardon my words but please don’t blame me for voicing out my sentiments. I am not mad or whatsoever…I just ran out of double-sided tape for my scarp book =)

my adrenaline rush was over

my adrenaline rush was over

My endorphine level has kept me numb for the past few weeks. I suddenly realized that a lot of things have happen but I remained silent, unmoved and unaffected for quite some time. I have been disoriented and listless I could not even finish my simple tasks and was having a hard time remembering things. My self-confinement in our house double murdered my non-existent social life. Too many goodbyes have been said and yet I have pretended that nothing has changed. Some of my friends have left for the greener pastures while some have had an early retirement to life (God paged them way too early to be at His kingdom).

And in the middle of these life changing moments I refuse to immerse myself to the overflowing emotions. For some reasons I remained here, in my solitary room, spending my day mumbling nonsense and day dreaming. What was I thinking? I myself don’t know. I am lost in my thoughts that it takes a while to drift me back to reality. My mobile phone and my internet connection has been the only link I have to the outside world. So maybe this is how it feels to be in Big Brother’s house.

But even with the existence of a mobile phone I’m still out of reach. I rarely use it for communication purposes. Pretty much of the time it serves as MP3 player. I know, I know I’m starting to act weird. Just for the record I have read all of your messages its just that I am not in the mood to talk to someone else. I feel that I have to reflect on my life. To my disappointment I fail to identify the missing parts. So I resort myself to another listless thinking and then the cycle goes on.

Now that my adrenaline rush have subsided to the normal level I looked back and realize how much did I missed. Too many goodbyes. Too many chances to meet up with my old buddies but where was I? Living in your dreams doesn’t do any good I guess. No matter what,you still have to go back to reality where you can actually see things, feel things and experience living. I was too afraid of changes that I have buried myself to my own thoughts. My hyperactive imagination has taken over me. I wonder if this is one of the cons of too much vacation or too much stress? I don’t know however I do believe I need a distraction from this routine or else I’ll soon wear a straight jacket. I am hauling myself back to reality. I’m going back to work at least there I can put my mind to focus again though I’m still undecided whether I was just uninspired, burnout, or really walking to towards the path of insanity(I hope not). I shall emerge from my den and see the sun again. Well if this distraction does not work I’m afraid I have to see a shrink just to be safe. On the brighter side, at least I’m not as talkative as I was before. The end result was I can sit all day not speaking =) I don’t want to bluff non sense and sinful things just because I have not trained my tongue to go in sync with my mind.

At the end of it all, I do recognize my faults and is willing to emerge back for the sake of sanity and growth and learning. Yes, I did miss a lot. But in my heart the memories lived on. I just can’t take too much sadness. I’m sorry I am just not built that way,I do plan to make it up though. I pray that things will unravel its meaning in time. I pray for strength and courage from God to fight back those ungodly thoughts that hovers in my mind. I know this is a challenge from God. When you turn your back from the evil, the temptations to go back are sometimes hard to resist. The path to goodness isn’t an easy path but when you have God living in your heart, You’re sure to reach it in no time. My adrenaline rush has gone down…Now it’s time to pick up the sword and continue to walk down the road of life. God bless!

“Do not enter the path of wicked, and do not walk in the way of evil. Avoid it, do not travel on it; turn away from it and pass on” Proverbs 4:14-15

neverland

When pixie dust lost its sparkle

when happy thoughts can't get through

Peter Pan will come to

save you from hook

and then maybe,

the ticking croc will do

giddiyup, giddiyup!

tweetle dim do!

ahoy to Pan who saves you!

magic sometimes don't do

but love will always guide you through

3.27.10

12.58pm

on patience

Sometimes we fall for the wrong reasons and end up being hurt again and again. The problem is we are always in a hurry to find our happy ending. People are usually impatient. We never trust God’s time so we eagerly take the pen in His hands to start writing our own story. But the more we become impulsive the more we hurt ourselves. The ending that we wish for gets even more elusive reaching out of our grasp.

Peer pressure has been one of the reasons why we want an instant solution to our dying love life. I think envy also played a part to our decisions. Just because our friends have their partners doesn’t mean that it is also a requirement for us to have our own. Remember that people move from one phase to another at a different pace. Everything has their timeframe. Don’t seek for love just because you feel you have to. In the first place you don’t look for love it comes naturally at the right time. Patience is a virtue.

One is not obliged to follow what everyone around him is telling him to do. Morrie once said ‘forget what the future says’. Yes, indeed there is such a saying that goes mind your own business and there is a term such as ‘individualized’ what works for your best friend might not be good for you.

What I am trying to say is do not rush love for it will surely come. It doesn’t matter if you are the only single in the group. Use this phase to your advantage. It pays to wait. Patience is one of the most important things that one must learn because most of the times our plans never turn out the way you want them to be. Trust God’s plans and do not cannon ball things. One thing I learned about God is that He sometimes bring us to our ending but doesn’t reveal it at once maybe because we are not yet ready for it, so He made us sidetrack along the path to prepare us to handle responsibilities.

I would be a hypocrite if I don’t say that I am sometimes jealous of my other friends and there have been many instances that I have been seduced to snatch the pen from the hands of our Father and start writing my own version of my happy ending. Thank God I always find the strength to fight back and shake off those thoughts. It would not do me any good if I stray from His path. I know He’s busy writing my story, so for now I’m gonna sit down and wait for it to happen. I have fueled myself with enough patience and prayers to go along way. I trust His plans. I know my time will come. I never wanna make the same mistakes that I did so I don’t care about the peer pressure anymore. I have forgotten what the culture has said. I only care about His love and His words for now that would be enough.

For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.

~Jeremiah 29:11

happy feet

Always wear a nice pair of shoes~the one you're comfortable with, because that shoes will bring you to new places! Be in good terms with your feet for they'll lead you to your destination. Be an explorer with your happy feet. =)